I need to numb the pain…
There are plenty of things I use that can numb the pain right now….
Alcohol , pain pills (if you can get them prescribed, which is very, very hard to do), drugs, porn. Hell, I even binge with food will occasionally. I truly want to avoid using ANY of these. It’s been only more recently in my life that the pain has grown, and I succumb to these “Vices” as a means to “Deal with the pain”.
But the one thing that I most long for to numb the pain is, a full and deep relationship with a loving woman!!!
Sure I think, who wouldn’t want a committed relationship with your significant other?!?! What’s got me suffering currently is the anger, despair, and loneliness I feel not being able to experience a relationship like that. And I am concerned that these negative emotions are my only avenues towards getting through the pain. I need to get past the pain. I need to get through to this next level of being a functioning human. Because if you can break through to the next level, then you can be normal again. I just want to be normal and enjoy the flow of life with someone special.
My point is I’m someone who needs that human loving connection. But until then, I am stuck in the cycle of pain. And I am are stuck dealing with the pain where, and however I can.
